belief, childhood, happiness, memories

What father’s do best

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He’d tip toe into my bedroom every Thursday morning and slowly pull down the comforter from my face, brush his hands through my hair and whisper ‘wake up princess’. Then he’d tickle me for a bit until I’d be sitting up on the bed staring at him with my big curious eyes wondering what he had planned for this weekend – we’d either go out for a long drive by the sea and have ice cream or I’d tag along with him to his office and feel smart because I knew how to use Microsoft Paint. As a kid, I absolutely loved my Thursday mornings.

We live in a cruel world where who and what changes when is absolutely unpredictable. As much as parenthood took me by surprise when I began to realize what parents were all about – the idea of being a father daunts upon me even more. I sometimes, quite often actually, don’t understand this selfless way of living life. I know for sure that I’d be an epic fail at fatherhood.

Fathers teach us well. They tell us how to use a dictionary. They help us write our essays and teach us how to tell the time. They are always standing right behind us while we try riding our bicycles & every time we ride a few steps forward we turn back to make sure that they are there – and they are always standing there telling us how great we’re doing. They give us the push while we’re on the swing and we feel like we’re almost going to kiss the sky fearlessly because our dad is right behind us to catch us if we fall. He’s that silent voice in the back of our minds telling us constantly ‘I know you can do this!’.

They taught us to sneak candies from the jar when our mums were busy washing the dishes. They took our pictures when we were caught hiding under the table hurrying up finishing off our junk food right before dinner. They would get us the latest Disney movie and watch it with us until we fell asleep in their arms. They pushed our hair out of our faces while we’re busy setting up our doll house or coloring our minds out. They would walk past us and rustle our hair when we’d be done with the task of our day. They would stand in front of the stove on Friday mornings and cook like they’re our heroes while we would sit on the kitchen table, swinging our legs back and forth  admiring how cool our daddies are! Right from giving us a ride on their shoulders to cheering for us on our graduation day – they’ve always been there like our backbone. And most importantly, they never say ‘I’m scared’ or ‘I’m worried’ or ‘I’m nervous’ – and we never think they are.  =)

But one day, we grow up and we become all smart and we have a fancy degree and a flashy job title – ‘We know the world  better than you dad’. It just makes me smile. Because fathers..? They were always our role model – always our heroes. We grew up feeling safe and warm because we believed that they knew it all. Nothing could touch us because our dad was on the watch all night while we slept under the glowing sticker stars that he put on our bedroom ceilings. Yet sometimes today, when we ‘know-it-all’ and we know that something is bothering them, they just pat our backs and tell us to ignore the damp corners of their eyes – ‘It’s nothing, don’t worry your little head, everything’s just fine princess!’. It makes me smile over and over again. They always told us that their 5 hours sleep was all that they needed and it was absolutely fine to drive a hundred kilometers back and forth to pick us from one place and drop us to the other and then pick us up again. It makes me smile today thinking that back then I had no idea how much a kilometer was and it all looked so easy to do..

And so it makes me think that all of that since forever and what’s their reason??

My dad drops me at work almost every morning and as I jump out of the car and say ‘bye abbu!‘, he reminds me every day not to forget to text him when I reach my desk and I’m all settled in to start the day. Every day when I text him ‘I’ve reached. You have a good day and take care and please smoke less today!’, he replies ‘You take care too and have a great smiley day’.

That’s all that he asks for. That’s all that they all ask for – stuff like ‘take care’, ‘text me and let me know if you’re okay’, ‘call me when you reach home safely’, ‘have a smiley day’ –  Thinking of what they want in return does make me smile.

Love you loads Abbu..

I may be fairly good at vomiting the random ramblings of my mind in words, I may have a degree and I may be good enough to go get another one, I may think I know today’s world better than you but I could never be as good as you are and have always been if I were to be a father. You are and will always be my hero Abbu! Love you loads! =)
Happy Birthday!

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Once upon a time

“Once upon a time, there was a boy. He lived in a village that no longer exists, in a house that no longer exists, on the edge of a field that no longer exists, where everything was discovered, and everything was possible. A stick could be a sword, a pebble could be a diamond, a tree, a castle. Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived in a house across the field, from a girl who no longer exists. They made up a thousand games. She was queen and he was king. In the autumn light her hair shone like a crown. They collected the world in small handfuls, and when the sky grew dark, and they parted with leaves in their hair.

Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”

 

Nicole Krauss, The History of Love