These letters are getting impossible now.. I’ve written to people thanking them, telling them that I miss them, telling them that I want to meet them and then there’s a never ending list of all the hate mails! And now this 30 days letter thing wants me to write to someone I’ve drifted away from? I don’t even know what that means?! Primarily because in my life, I either like a person or I don’t like a person.. It’s pretty much black or white.. but exceptions include; people from the family (unavoidable I swear), someone who has the authority over something you’ve always wanted or desperately need (only God knows how many smiles I passed at the bloody HEC people!) and some people with whom there’s just an awkward silence about a bad event (You can’t decide what side of the like/don’t like list that person belongs too. You’re always calling each other all sorts of names in your head but due to the circumstances you’ve got to smile and nod at each other …. AAAWKKWARD!). I guess that indiscernible gap of awkwardness is what drifting away is all about to me.
Letter 14 – Someone you’ve drifted away from
Dear You, (*smiles & nods*)
Well we were never too close to have sufficiently drifted apart in the first place but I guess we both took our steps back (I probably took two..). It’s extremely confusing when you get acquainted with someone because of someone else and then due to an event that ‘someone else’ falls out of the picture leaving just you and the unknown randomly acquainted someone. Our story happens to be on the same lines.
Prior to that one dreadful event, we would often have comfortable, casual conversations and we never ran out of topics to talk about. Despite our everlasting difference of opinions, I always enjoyed hearing your point of view. Definitely coincidently, there were a few times when we’d share the same thought and laugh about it.
The idea of having a weird silence in between all our talks now is creepy and annoying. Creepy because both of us know this isn’t normal and annoying because both of us wouldn’t do anything about it! It’s been how long? Nearly two years?.. wow.. two years and every time we run into each other, be it at my place or somewhere outside, there’s the whole telepathy session of calling each other weird names coupled with a stupid smile and constant, pointless nods.
To drift away from someone, even when you weren’t too close to them, is like you had the best slice of pizza in your hands and just when you were about to take your first bite the phone rang; so you left your slice of pizza on your plate for a while to take that call and by the time you return, your pizza was obediently lying there just that it was no longer quite as good. You can’t throw it away.. because.. well…oh come on.. that’s a pizza slice there! .. okay, nevermind.. *focus mehar focus!* So yeah, I can’t completely pretend to not know you, but every time I see you, we both have a replay of that one event regarding someone and then there’s just plain awkwardness in the air.
See people just shouldn’t get to know each other in the form of a triangle; it turns into a stupid flat line if one of the vertex goes missing. We can’t point fingers and play the blame game because neither of us wronged each other. But what hurts is how sometimes we persistently avoid facing the truth. But heck, at times it’s no good facing anything. Some damages are irreparable and everyone knows that. Sometimes sorry just isn’t enough.
Anyway, this was never about you and me. We’ve just been trudging our own ways hoping not to bump into each other and having to deal with the awkward silence. But hey, it was good back in the old days. I thought of you differently then and I was happy for someone. But you proved your own self otherwise and now I know that what I had thought of you was a bunch of contradicting lies. It’s probably factual that people like being lied to; it’s just that they don’t like finding out that they’ve been lied to.
Have a good life.